


Beautiful Friendship

by R2sMuse



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 01:25:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5987428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R2sMuse/pseuds/R2sMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During an interview with the Unnamed Writer, Cullen must make a case for why he should be included as a companion in the third Dragon Age game. An absurdist, breaking the fourth wall drabble written during the development period before DA:I's release.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Friendship

“You can come in now.”

Cullen took a deep breath and opened the door. The room was small and dim, with only a single table and two chairs. One was occupied by a man with small glasses perched on his nose and a critical gleam in his eye. Cullen shuffled over and sat down in the empty chair. 

“Okay,” the man said, “you should be aware that you’re only here because a friend pulled in a favor. There are many less controversial characters we could include in the next game, and for how much I like your story, it isn’t necessary. But you’re here now, so make it count.”

“Th-thank you, ser. You won’t regret—”

“Right. So, we haven’t set the cast of characters yet, but we know there will be a few returning faces. What do you think you might bring to the continuing story?”

“Well, to begin with, I’ve been in both previous games and my character has shown considerable growth. I’ve seen both extremes of the mage-templar conflict and have evolved to see the merits of both perspectives. I would bring a moderate insight to the templar side of things. And, you yourself said that I am ‘the voice of sanity.’ I should think all of that would make me a natural fit for the next game.” Cullen worked to stop himself from fidgeting as the man merely stared at him without changing expression. 

“I see. Anything else?” 

Cullen wracked his brain, looking for another tack, when suddenly the door behind him opened and in walked a tall, armored woman with severe, short black hair framing her heart-shaped face. “So, David, are we going to do this or— Oh.” She stopped when she saw Cullen.

The man in glasses sighed. “I asked you to wait until we were finished.”

“You’re including h-her?” Cullen stammered. “I thought you said the cast wasn’t decided yet.”

“Well, it’s not,” the man said unconvincingly. Cassandra bit her lip and looked away. 

Cullen stood up. “But, she already had her chance! She was the poster girl of DA2 and then got her own movie. Why would she also get to be a companion?”

“She’s the face of the story we’re telling.” The man spread his hands wide as if the decision were that simple. 

“So it is a templar story! I knew it! It’s because she’s a woman isn’t it?”

“Now, don’t bring gender politics into this. You know we’ve always had a history of strong female characters.” 

“Plus, I was really only a narrator in the last game,” Cassandra chimed in. “This role will allow me to show my considerable range.”

“Cassandra, I’ve got this,” said the man in glasses. “Look, Cullen, it’s not that you’re not a great character. We’ve got lots of great characters. But we must do what is right for the story. We don’t need both a Seeker and a templar companion, and frankly . . .”

“But I’m the voice of sanity! And I have great hair!” Cullen cried. The man dropped his gaze to the table, and there was an uncomfortable pause. 

“It’s the hairbrushing thing, isn’t it?” Cullen asked in a defeated voice. 

“Well . . .”

“But, the creepy hairbrushing never even happened! You said that was merely hypothetical!”

“Well, yes, but once it’s out there . . .” The man cleared his throat. “The internet has a way of giving things like that a life of their own.”

“But I’m not creepy! The dialogue clearly shows that I hadn’t even talked to Amell or Surana before the day of their Harrowings. N-nothing happened! I followed every protocol.” 

“It’s nothing personal, Cullen. Honestly, if we were ever going to pander to our fans, the Cullen fans would be worthy of it. But, it’s just not going to work out for you to be a companion this time around. Sorry.” The man stood up and passed by Cassandra to walk out the door. 

Cassandra gave Cullen a long look. “Consider yourself lucky. Now the haters will stop crucifying you and your fans every chance they get. Maker watch over you.” She winked at him and swept out of the room as well.

Cullen stood up slowly. He reached out to open the door to leave when it suddenly burst open. A slightly disheveled woman fell into the room but caught herself before tumbling to the ground. She smiled sweetly and pushed her glasses back up her nose. Her brown hair was tied up in a messy chignon and she was wearing an oversized cardigan that slipped off one shoulder. She held a laptop tucked under one arm. 

She stuck out her free hand. “Hello. You must be Cullen.”

“Erm, yes. How do you do?” He took her hand hesitantly and she shook it warmly. 

“I’m glad I caught you. I represent some people . . . well, really quite a few people, and we have a better offer for you.”

“Better? In what way?”

“Well, in fanfiction, really sky’s the limit. Talk about range, you’ll get to do it all. Plus, it often comes with fanart opportunities as well.”

“Will I . . . um, get more lines?”

“Oh yes.”

“As many as a companion?” he asked. “More than Cassandra?”

She laughed. “More even than a plot relevant companion. Sometimes,” she paused and then added in a conspiratorial whisper, “you’ll even be the main character!”

His eyes widened. “What do I need to do?”

She chuckled and tucked his arm in hers. “Nothing at all. We’ll take care of everything.” She put a hand up to her ear, pressing her index finger to an unseen transmitter. “Target acquired. No, belay the order on the pitchforks. We’ve got him.”

They walked out the door and down the hall. “Cullen, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

**Author's Note:**

> Snort, I had forgotten I wrote this back in the run up to DA:I's release for a Cullen thread celebration. Posting here so it doesn't get lost next time the BSN gets redesigned. Aaaaand, yes, I sort of wrote BW writer fanfic. 0_o


End file.
